steps

Last night was a new step in my romantic relationship. This is only my second longest mature relationship. One of the great skills I've been able to learn in this relationship is communication. We have the best conversations about life, silliness, our similarities, etc. We've come to the mutual understanding that we can talk about anything. Our minds are open to our ideas. We have respect for each other. There is something beautiful when two people can express what they're thinking without fear of judgement.
I've been at a place in my life where I walked on eggshells around the person I loved. I was afraid to speak my mind, which also meant I was afraid to stand up for myself. I wasn't respected, so in turn I did not trust him.
In this relationship our ability to maturely communicate with each other has helped us respect and trust each other on a level that I've never experienced in a romantic relationship. I've learned so much about myself in this relationship. I can keep who I am, while still being part of a couple. I am not conceding to someone else's beliefs to appease them, therefore compromising my sense of self.
I feel this is true love. We have our flaws of course but it is all in one's perspective. We find a balance. We take care of each other's hearts and souls.
Love is beautiful.

This afternoon was so rad! I went to Rimrock to pick up my roomie from her dad's house. I took our friend Diane and her dog (he's a pit), Thor with me. Thor has ridiculous gas for a dog. So not only were we laughing our asses off while listening to Beyonce's Halo, we were also immaturely laughing everytime Thor farted. They were those silent but deadly types and made you choke and your eyes watered every time he'd emit one. I love these ladies so much. We laugh over the most ridiculous shit! I figure part of it has to do with all of our sun signs. We are all fire signs; Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius. I love love love my friends!!

introspections

oh this thing we call love...why does it cause so much pain? We are sucked in during the early stages with wide open hearts and googly eyes. I feel lucky as of late because I've found someone who accepts me for me and I do the same for him. It hurts me to hear my friends discuss the heartbreak they are contending with when I finally realized these relationships have to happen organically. We push and shove until we get what we want, then we don't want what we have.
Sometimes I feel like I have more than my share of love. Maybe a little guilty that I am loved. Yet I know that we all deserve all the love that is out there. As long as we love ourselves and give love freely, will we recieve it in return.
I feel that my past experience with divorce and friendship loss makes me more thankful for what I have right now. My boyfriend and friends help me live in the present and enjoy everyday. Maybe that is why it is so easy to love them. I need to say I love you more often.
I love you!!

waiting

I am a math nerd. A friend of mine is taking an online college math class to fullfill a requirement for her degree. She asked me to help her out. Who knew helping out meant completing the assignments for her? I'm not all that perturbed by doing this. I enjoy math. There is something so logical about it. The answer is always the same. You complete a formula to get an answer. Nobody is watching you solve the problem and judging you.
There is one thing that bothers me. She is one of those people who runs on their own time. You tell her to be ready in an hour, she won't be ready for two. She says she'll pick you up at 10:30ish, this actually means 11 to 11:15. She'll be over in half an hour to start work. An hour and a half later, she shows up.
I've known multiple people like this. The only thing they are saying by their actions is that their time is more important than yours. A disrespectful act if there ever was one. I could keep bitching and not saying anything to her but that's not going to solve anything. I'm going to have to lay it out for her today when she comes by. We planned on noon, leaving it a little loose. But she texted me this morning and said she wouldn't be back in town till 1:30. Holy crap.
I still love her but there are some things one should not accept when loving others. I don't want to get treated disrespectfully in any relationship. Maybe next time I'll write about loving someone from afar.
I'm still love and so are you! :)

so I'm trying

to figure out where I want my writing to go. Of course I titled this blog life is love and that definitely has a direct connection to what I want to write about. I'm personally conflicted on how much personal information I should share. I guess it doesn't really matter as long as I keep things generic.
I recently got a new tattoo. I'm a firm believer in pieces that have significance to a person. My roomie is leaving for two years to join the Peace Corps. I'm so proud of her choice yet ridiculously sad that she will not be my roommate anymore. She is a beautiful person/soul. I don't believe I can replace her with anyone else. I'd be disappointed by any other person. She puts up with my mess and gives great advice. We philosophize together.
One of the reason's we chose to get the word "Love" tattooed on our bodies is based on the teachings of yoga. Giving love without expecting anything in return or loving someone for exactly who they are and not wanting to change them is a beautiful yogic belief. Plus once you can love yourself for who you are, it is easier to share that love with others. Something that seems like an inherent need in any human.
My roommate taught me so much about love this year. She never complained about my messy habits. She listened to me when I would bitch about the guys I dated. She shares my love for eastern philosophy and yoga in particular. We laugh like crazy people when we're together. I cannot believe I've known her off and on for 21 years. I feel like she's my sister.
I will feel sad when she leaves but something we learned through yoga will soothe me. Everything has a beginning and an ending. Obviously this is not a new thought. But relating it to yoga helps me understand that endings don't have to be "bad." They just bring something new and exciting to the next part of your life.
be love

so everyone else is doing it and I'm going to be a follower. But really I have many journals where I've already written down many of my contemplations on life. Now it's just public I guess.